He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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