iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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