are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Never joke about your clitoris.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
