I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
