he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
