No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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