I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
