so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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