How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
