So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
