No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
