I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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