I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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