in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
