What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
