I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
