Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
