It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
