The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize