She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
