Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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