I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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