he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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