Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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