READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
