he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
