I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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