I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
