I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
