There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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