Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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