Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
