Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found puke in my bra..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
