Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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