$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
