she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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