discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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