k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize