Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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