he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do herpes really smell.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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