Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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