He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize