I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
