do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i will never coherently bang her
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
