I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
