I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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