Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
