I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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