brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
