So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize