After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize