What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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