I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
