i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize