I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
