Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
