She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
