ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
