Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
