maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
