if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
