i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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