he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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